In the post-modern world, you are born with destiny’s foot planted firmly on your ball sack. And if you cry out, life will give you a mouthful of broken teeth for your troubles. This is the existential reality of the situation you’re facing, so it’s important to develop successful coping strategies ASAP. That’s where I come in. I’m not here to coddle you. I’m not going to offer a pat on the back for each baby step you take down the path of self-realization. I’m here to pry your fucking jaws apart and forcibly administer a mega dose of tough love.
Some of what I have to tell you may seem intolerably offensive. This is ok. It means the treatment is working. Some of what you learn here will shock you. Don’t be afraid. Shock is just ignorance leaving the body. With my help, you’ll be able to face your fate with a steel heart and an iron fist. And maybe…just maybe……you’ll manage to gouge out one if it’s fucking eyeballs before post-modern existence finally chokes the life out of you.
